The Greatest Choice I Have Ever Made
Omar after coming to Jesus Christ
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Sin was a part of my life at a very early age. Lying, stealing… the sort of stuff that just gets passed along as “regular” kid things in the world. I didn’t know it was a sin and to be honest with you I didn’t care. I had to get my candy one way or another! Sin is so deceitful. Unless you know about God you don’t even know what sin is.
Apparently, according to my fellow sixth graders, I was a nerd. Believe that? A nerd! How was I suppose to know that being good at school, collecting baseball cards, and wearing “medical” glasses would classify you as a nerd?! Have you ever been to the optometrist with no cash, only your medical card? They dust off a cover and present you with the wide selection of two different pairs of glasses to choose from, one size fits all!
That’s when I began my journey of trying to find happiness and “fitting in” with the world. I became the class clown as a way of being accepted. The more I would try to be accepted by the world, the more I would have to do things that were against God. Sometimes the things I would do at a young age didn’t feel right. To be honest with you I didn’t care. All I wanted to do was be happy and be accepted. My only form of religion was when my mom forced me to go to a catholic church and do my first communion. It was either study for my first communion test or get a whooping. Sometimes I chose the whooping…
I discovered girls at a pretty early age. In school girls are the barometer of seeing how accepted you are. If the pretty girls like you, you’re in. If they reject you then you move down the social ladder until you find those that do. Sadly to say I would aim for the “top” and find that my social standard was way below average. Can I honestly tell you that during my high school years I felt worthless, meaningless, ugly, and bitter to name a few. I felt as if the only way I could fit in was to joke around.
Tired of being considered a nerd I took of the glasses and decided that rebellion was the way to go. I would ditch school and hang around with the school trouble makers (funny thing I discovered, most of the school trouble makers would never show up to school!) No task was too daring for me. I was going to prove that I was “down”. I started ditching and “bagging” on my teachers in front of the class. My teachers would ask questions that I knew the answers to and I would act as if I didn’t know. I could see that some of the girls began to look at me twice and actually start thinking I was cute! Imagine that. My plan was beginning to take action.
But inside, I still felt worthless, meaningless, ugly, and bitter to name a few.
Eventually suspensions, Saturday detention, and getting kicked out of class followed. The final outcome of my 10th grade year was that I had only received 55 credits, which put me in the first semester of my 9th grade year. In all of my rebellion I discovered that by running my mouth I was able to intimidate most of the school bullies. Eventually my plan of “talking smack” back fired and I got into a brawl in my 4th period Spanish class. I was given the option by my wonderful counselor of, “Either you leave or we kick you out. This school can’t afford to be kicking kids out of school and you can’t afford to be kicked out of school. For the sakes of our records and yours, it’s better if you just drop out”. So drop out I did.
My home life was a disaster. My mom, tired of raising two kids (my sister was born when I was 10 years old) said that my life was up to me now. “I’m tired of crying and always fighting with you in front of your sister, do whatever you want”, she said. So guess what? I took her up on it I did what ever I wanted. I partied till the early morning hours and slept till 1pm in the afternoon.
By this time I knew that sin was a very heavy part of my life. Reading the bible for my first communion actually pointed out what sin was. I don’t care who you are or how tough you are, when you read the Word of the Most High it makes you aware. There were nights when tough times would come around where I would pray. According to me I had changed my mentality from not knowing or caring about sin to “God knows my heart. He knows I’m a good person.”
Soon after I dropped out I began to get more involved in throwing parties. I began to throw clubs and underground functions. With this my popularity rose and I began to get a name for myself. My crew was known around the party scene and I finally began to achieve what I always wanted. What I thought would make me happy, to be part of the “in” crowd. Not only was I part of the “in” crowd I became a leader. Girls, drinking, and eventually drugs, something would always get me and I couldn’t figure it out. Here I am doing everything I’m supposed to be doing to be happy and still inside…
I felt worthless, meaningless, ugly, and bitter to name a few.
According to my senseless theology I obviously needed to climb higher up the ladder. I shifted my focus and became more aggressive in my venture for success and bigger fame. I began to throw bigger parties. We threw shows that at times pulled as many as 4,000 people. I opened up a business (with a partner) at age 21. By the time I was 23 I was already a popular and respected figure in the world of clubs, undergrounds, and parties. Our company began to grow and I felt good at the compliments of being such a young and prosperous man.
Still inside I still felt worthless, meaningless, ugly, and bitter to name a few.
By this time I had already realized that God was the only way to fill my void. I denied him so many times. If I would have died on one of my many encounters with death, (Me and a group of friends got shot at from about 10 feet away and survived. I would drive drunk and test the speed limits on the freeways) I would have gone straight to hell with out ever being able to say that I didn’t know. What a merciful God he is!!!!!!!!!
We infested our business with sin. We would throw parties after business hours, at times having up to 150 people drinking and doing drugs inside and outside the building. I remember one night getting drunk, smoking weed, free basing nitrous oxide, dropping a couple of pills of ecstasy and “bumping (sniffing)” cocaine. I was so numb that I couldn’t tell the different effects of the drugs. Sin is so cruel and deceitful. I remember that night feeling like a king, here I am partying like a rock star and owning my own business. I felt as if I was going straight to the top. According to me “I was living life to the fullest!”
Omar (left) before coming to Jesus
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That night or should I say the following morning, I had the grueling realization that the party was over and it was time to go home. When I would go home I would sleep with my head phones on drowning out the knock at the door of my soul with worldly music. Thinking was out of the question because I would always know deep inside (like we all do) that I was not right with God. I would go to work on Mondays as if nothing happened, still this young eager, enthusiastic man looking to be successful. “I could control my partying, I’m not like those low lives on the streets”, I would say.
Finally after playing games with God I had hit the dead end road. I can remember I was sitting back and I thought to myself, “I’m going to make it big. I’m going to be rich and have everything life has to offer”. (I would always lie to myself to try to fill the void inside). A thought hit me like a ton of bricks “Yes but you’ll never fill the void inside your soul”.
I remember I was sitting in my office working. A friend called me for business but I shrewdly swayed the conversation to talking about God. After all a business man doesn’t just come out and say he needs God. Isn’t God just for the loser and drug addict on the street? What arrogance! I (with out even being asked) began to tell him how I felt that I was OK with God and how I would serve him as soon as I was ready. I remember he began to speak to me about God (we weren’t discussing doctrine – I didn’t even know there were different doctrines!). After I hung up the phone I walked into the rest room, I stooped over the toiled (after all God doesn’t answer prayer unless you’re kneeling, right?) And I prayed, “God I don’t know what to do from here, but I want to be right with you”. And you won’t believe what happened!
Nothing. So I thought…
Needless to say God answers prayer, shortly there after a friend of mine began to come by the office. A wild crazy maniac, as I would have described him before he got saved, Janos. He began to speak to me about God. Janos invited me to the church he attends and boy! You talk about a bunch of crazy people! “What are these people so excited about, running the isles, jumping around, screaming!” I said to myself. And all this was going on while the preacher was preaching. I remember in an august thundering voice the preacher yelled, “He’s the KING OF KINGS and the LORD OF LORDS!!!!!! Yell hallelujah!” I knew it!!!!!! My soul jumped inside of me. I wanted to yell hallelujah at the top of my voice!
I stayed quiet and didn’t say a word. After all young business men who have everything going for them don’t yell at the top of their lungs in front of a bunch of strangers (Funny how when I would watch sports I would yell like a fool).
I went on living. Now I was in a worse spot than I had ever been before. Not only did I feel worthless, meaningless, ugly, and bitter to name a few. Now I knew that God was what I needed in my life and I didn’t submit!
At night I would feel the knocking on my soul. Finally after a very convincing situation that took place on New Year’s eve while I was at a party on Hollywood Blvd (they blocked off two streets). I decided to start going to church and give it a try…
I remember the day it finally took place. I can tell you the exact spot I was sitting when they began to read from the Word of God…
“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.”
I could feel my heart beating and pounding in my chest with excitement…. I felt the knock on the door to my soul stronger than I ever felt it. It’s almost as if my eyes had been opened with that one scripture.
This is who I’ve been looking for all my life!
This is who’s been knocking!
This Everlasting Father…
The Might God!!!!
You’re the answer! Not the acceptance of this world! You JESUS!
I cried and jumped and screamed!!!! And finally what should have happened the first time I stepped into this congregation… I yelled “HALLELUJAH!”
I remember the day I got baptized. The man of God whispered in my ear, “Life is about choices and this is the greatest choice you will ever make.” The next thing I heard was “Upon the confession of your sins I now baptize you in the NAME OF JESUS for the remission of ALL your sins, IN JESUS NAME!”
You know what? Life is about choices and he was right. This is the greatest choice I have ever made.